Dramamine
by sachi-sama
Summary: "Yeah, I do," Shizuo huffs, straightening up his shirt. "I'm the only one who does. You and Shinra think he's all talk but one day—one day he's gonna snap. He just hasn't had the right incentive yet." If only Kadota had known how right Shizuo was.


_Man, what? A shitty short Drrr story? Nah, I wouldn't post that. Only I did, and here it is. _

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><p><em><span>Dramamine<span>_

_(Modest Mouse)_

_[Travelling, swallowing Dramamine. Feeling spaced breathing out Listerine. I'd said what I'd said that I'd tell ya. And that you'd killed the better part of me.]_

As the most level-headed member of their group, Kadota often thinks it's his responsibility to break up fights before they have a chance to start. It isn't the easiest job, especially when Shizuo has a habit of starting fights with everyone and everything. He even had to jump between Shizuo and a tree once. It was pretty intense.

But nothing even comes close to how taxing it is to be mediator between Shizuo and Izaya. The two of them fight like cats and dogs on a good day, and every other day Kadota is just surprised the school doesn't crumble apart in a thousand pieces from the sheer force of their hatred for one another. Izaya is always gleeful to start trouble with Shizuo because the blond "has the most interesting responses", and Shizuo just seems to want to legitimately kill Izaya and not care about the outcome. Since Shinra is often too busy trying to conduct experiments on Shizuo's strength, it's up to Kadota to be diplomatic. It makes it difficult to focus on his own problems sometimes.

Hell, that's probably the reason he plays the part so well. Whatever stops him from having to deal with his own shit, he's all for.

Like the fact his parents don't sleep in the same room anymore, or why their family seems to be falling apart.

It's so much easier to immerse himself in why his friends act the way they do—not that they make it easy on him. Without ever telling them anything, they seem to just know, and Kadota thinks it's Izaya to blame. Izaya is awfully perceptive, and seems to be involved in anyone's business but his own. And so that's why when Izaya corners him one day after school, he's far from surprised.

"Dota-chin! Going home?" Izaya asks sweetly, his school bag thrown neatly over his shoulders. Kadota looks into those fierce eyes, unfazed by their unusual perceptiveness.

"Yes." He tries to walk past Izaya, but the damn brat turns on his heels and follows him.

"Aww, it must be hard for you. Do you have any idea why your parents are fighting so much?" Izaya inquires.

"How the hell do you even know they're fighting? I never told you a thing," Kadota snaps, still not turning.

"It's easy enough to figure out. I asked myself, 'why is Dota-chin so concerned for the rest of us? Why would he neglect his own issues?' and that is the answer I came up with. I'm afraid I can't relate all that much since my own parents are so pathetically basic, but I like to think I can offer some solace for you."

"How nice of you," Kadota says sarcastically. "It must be hard being so saintly, I don't know how you manage."

"Sarcasm doesn't make friends, Dota-chin," Izaya sing-songs. "It might make you feel better to talk about it."

Kadota agrees with Izaya on that idea, but he refuses to talk to Izaya about it. Ever since they've known each other, Kadota has always had a feeling Izaya was bad news—he's too smart for his own good, and he seems to have difficulty grasping basic empathy for other people. If anything, Izaya is responsible for causing the majority of the problems in their school, and probably is responsible for problems in the city itself. Shizuo thinks Izaya is a dangerous serial killer waiting to happen, but Kadota just thinks Izaya is insane. Either way, he's not comfortable offering information to him willingly. Izaya seems to eager to accept it, like a bird hovering over a worm. And Kadota is many things, but he's no worm.

"I'll think about it," he says vaguely. Izaya actually _pouts_ at him, but doesn't press the issue.

Kadota is happy to see Shizuo around the corner, smoking a cigarette and looking up at the sky. He turns to them then, scowling when he sees Izaya.

"'Sup Kadota?" Shizuo narrows his eyes even further. "Louse."

"Oh, Shizu-chan, you're so sweet to me," Izaya grins. "You're surely after my maiden heart. Like a true prince."

"If we're going the fairytale route, you're definitely the dragon. Or the mean hag with witch powers."

Izaya gives that sickly sweet smile, but doesn't retort. He turns to go back toward his usual route home, pausing only to turn and look back at Kadota.

"Aren't you coming?" he asks.

"Nah, I'm gonna talk to Shizuo for a bit," Kadota says. When Izaya isn't around, Shizuo is actually pretty easy to talk to.

Izaya looks surprised, his eyes wide. "You're...talking to Shizu-chan?" He quickly recovers, putting his false smile back in place. "Heh, have fun getting half-witted responses from a caveman."

"The fuck did you say?!" Shizuo roars, already starting after him, but Kadota pulls him back by the shirt collar, allowing Izaya to literally _skip_ away.

"He's just trying to rile you up," Kadota says quietly. "You know how he is."

"Yeah, I do," Shizuo huffs, straightening up his shirt. "I'm the only one who does. You and Shinra think he's all talk but one day—one day he's gonna snap. He just hasn't had the right incentive yet."

"Yeah, yeah," Kadota grins, poking Shizuo on the forehead. "You're so paranoid and concerned about him. Don't think about him for a second though, I need to talk to you about something."

"About what?" Shizuo asks, already reaching for another cigarette.

"I—it's just. Your parents...they're split, right?"

Shizuo pauses in lighting his cigarette, giving Kadota a scrutinizing look. "Just separated this time last year," he says slowly. "Old man booked it. Mom doesn't know or care where he is." He finally gets the cigarette lit and blows a puff of smoke. "I didn't give a fuck, but my little brother took it a little hard."

"Yeah, it's a rough scene," Kadota says quietly. "Especially if it's enough to rile Kasuka."

It's silent for a few moments, but Shizuo finally breaks it.

"So, hey. What Izaya told us about your home life—I thought he was full of shit but...are your folks really. You know. Making things hard for you?"

Kadota nods, accepting the cigarette Shizuo prods at him. They smoke in silence, Kadota trying to blow a smoke ring—he can't.

"It's hard," Shizuo says. "Even if you try not to care. It's just—worrying about your own life, and then theirs too." He sighs. "It sounds shitty, but it'd be easier for you if they split. Less fighting."

"I feel that way about it too, most days," Kadota agrees. "I try not to be home when I can help it, but sometimes I have to stay just to make sure they don't kill each other."

"What are they fighting about?"

"Mom's a drunk. It's been getting worse for whatever reason—I think she's stressed at work or something. She literally goes through a bottle and a half of wine a night."

"Goddamn," Shizuo whistles, flicking his ashes in a non-distinct direction. "Do you, um. You wanna crash with me for a few days? Kasuka pretty much stays in his room and it'd be nice to, you know, play videogames and shit for a while. Mom works a lot, so it'd just be us, but it's better than going home."

Kadota grins, "Yeah, it's a hell of a lot better than going home. I'll take you up on that offer."

It's actually perfect, just what he needs. He and Shizuo stay up late, talking about nothing while blowing each other's faces off in the videogame. They even manage to swipe some of his mom's beer, which adds fuel to the competition. At some point, Kasuka comes out of his room and sits on the couch, not wanting to play, just wanting to be in the same room. Apparently that's standard behavior for him, because Shizuo doesn't ask him again.

It continues this way for a few days, Kadota crashing at Shizuo's. They've always been good friends, but they've never hung out like this, and Kadota regrets not doing it sooner. He's never really seen Shizuo outside of school and all the fighting he likes to do, but at home, in front of Kasuka, he's a much nicer guy, and is more focused on helping Kadota forget about his own troubles.

At school, they talk a bit more than they used to, and it doesn't go unnoticed by Izaya and Shinra. Shinra thinks it's great that Kadota finally found a way to vent, and Izaya quickly agrees, but something is off about it. He can't figure it out, be he chalks it up to Izaya's usual level of creepiness.

One day, he's walking towards his and Shizuo's usual meeting place, and Izaya intercepts him.

"Dota-chin! Going to Shizuo's again?" he asks pleasantly.

"Yup," Kadota says. "We're going to play his new game. What's up with you?"

"Oh, nothing," Izaya shrugs. "Nothing as exciting as going into the monster's hovel. Heh, I'm thrilled you're spending so much...time with him. One might even say the two of you are getting close."

"I guess," Kadota frowns.

"If you're sure that's a good idea for you, I can't say anything against it," Izaya says. His grin disappears quickly, replaced by something much more sinister. "But you need to ask yourself if being this close to Shizu-chan is good for your well-being. Because I can assure you, it's not going to end well."

Kadota stops walking and turns to face him. "Wh-what?"

Izaya smiles again. "He's a monster, after all. It can't be good for you to hang around him. What are you going to do when he snaps?"

Kadota stares at him, unsure of what to say. Something about this is off, more so than usual as far as Izaya is concerned. And what Izaya is saying right now doesn't make sense—almost like he's warning Kadota about something else. But it's hard to take any threats from him seriously, as Izaya is half his size, and Kadota is still uncertain as to whether or not he's actually being threatened.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks for your...concern. I can handle myself though so..."

Izaya's eyes narrow. "Alright then. I just thought I'd offer some friendly advice. Do what you think is best."

And with that, they part ways. All through the rest of the night, he can't figure out why the goosebumps won't go away.

It's not until three days later that he finally goes home, content to spend the night now that he's not as absorbed in the problem. He's surprised to find mother sitting at the kitchen table alone, drinking from her usual wineglass. His father is nowhere in sight, and his car is gone. Kadota sits next to her.

"Come home at last, have you? I thought you left me too," she says as she pours herself more wine.

"Left?" Kadota asks quietly.

"Found his little love letters from some whore in our bedroom. _Our bedroom_. Thinks he can do that shit in my house and get away with it? Nuh-uh!" She slurs, slamming her glass down so hard it's a miracle it doesn't break. "Kicked him out. He said he was innocent of course, but like I'd believe that. How'd they get in the house if he wasn't guilty?" She shakes her head. "Good riddance."

"Mom—I'm...I'm so sorry."

"We'll be okay," she says quietly, rubbing his hand. "Me and you. We'll be fine."

"Yeah," he agrees. "We don't need him."

She sniffs, and puts the bottle aside before burying her face in her arms. "Him and that—woman, _Kanra_. They deserve each other."

It's a little better at home from then on, his mother trying to get back on her own feet, even if it's just to spite his absent dad. He can't believe his father was having an affair, but he supposes it shouldn't come as too much of a shock. His parents weren't close anymore, after all. And he wasn't paying attention to them.

He stops going to Shizuo's for a few days, as he feels he's needed at home. It's a relief to see his mother finally getting better, and he's happy she's trying so hard. She puts more of herself into work, so she's home less than before, which gives her less of an opportunity to drink. Things seem to be looking up, and he's grateful.

But he doesn't want Shizuo to think they aren't friends anymore just because his life isn't going to hell. So instead of going to Shizuo's, he invites Shizuo to his place, Kasuka as well. He figures they all have this in common, and maybe it's not just a stress reliever for him. He extends the invitation to Shinra and possibly Izaya, if Izaya promises to behave, but they decline for their own personal reasons. Shinra's probably because he'd rather drool over Celty, and Izaya because...well, Kadota's not sure. He can't help but shake the feeling that Izaya's reasons are more than a little crooked.

Since his father is finally gone, Kadota has more in common with Shizuo, and the two of them talk about it at school sometimes, sharing a cigarette on the roof after class, or they discuss it over lunch break. Izaya doesn't sit with them anymore, seems to roam around the school. There are days he doesn't come back after lunch break, and there are days he's gone entirely. Shizuo seems to have forgotten all about chasing him, seems to be perfectly happy with Izaya not being there.

And for some reason, the thought of that makes Kadota's hair stand on end, but he doesn't figure out why until it's too late to change anything.

It happens on a night he's home alone. His mother works late most nights, and Shizuo and Kasuka are home with their own mother. Kadota is watching television on the couch, barely conscious as he channel surfs. His phone ringing jerks him awake, and he frowns when he reads who's calling. Izaya of all people.

"Hello?" he mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

"_Dota-chin,"_ Izaya says swiftly. _"Taking a nap on the couch?"_

"Wha—yeah, how'd you know it was on the couch?"

"_Lucky guess."_

"Okay... Uh, why're you—"

"_Calling you? Well, consider this a courtesy call, Dota-chin. I'd hate for things to play out without you knowing what you did wrong. See, I think you'll do better if you know exactly what led up to this point. How you brought this upon yourself."_

Kadota sits up, looking around, the sinking feeling in his stomach becoming one of pitfall. "Izaya...what?"

"_I'm not proud of it—I'll say that right out. But I don't like you knowing him so closely. Only I can know him, Dota-chin. Surely you knew that?"_

"Knew...?" Suddenly it clicks. "Are you talking about Shizuo?"

"_Yes."_

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Kadota asks, his longtime suspicions confirmed. Izaya doesn't answer. "Izaya?"

"_I thought taking care of the problem would stop it, but you didn't learn. Even after Daddy Dearest left the picture—"_

"You had to do with him leaving?"

"_So naturally I am at my wit's end. You—you have to be removed from the picture entirely."_

Kadota jumps off the couch and goes to the window, looking out. He's on edge, paranoid. Izaya's voice isn't his usual calm, velvet tone. It's unsettling, harsh.

"Izaya, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even care for him that way. And if you do, you should tell him instead of threatening me."

"_...Time is running out, Dota-chin."_

He feels the heat before he sees it—the orange flicker behind him. His kitchen is on fire, the flames towering higher and higher as they climb along the walls, along the counters. Panicked, he tries the door but he can't get it open.

"Izaya! What the fuck did you—"

"_I'm sorry. I did always like you, but..."_

The line goes dead, and Kadota rushes back across the room to the window, only to see the burning embers have already sparked on the curtains, on the carpet, on the couch—the entire room ablaze aside from his little corner.

And in his final moments, perhaps it's his life playing back, or perhaps it's just a sudden clarity found in the face of panic—but he hears Shizuo's words from before, hears them as clear as if Shizuo was beside him directly.

"_You and Shinra think he's all talk but one day—one day he's gonna snap. He just hasn't had the right incentive yet."_

The flames grow closer to him, the smoke billowing and burning his eyes, filling his lungs. He falls against the door and thinks about how funny this is—how hilariously tragic this is and how he'll never be able to tell Shizuo he was right all along, and how he'll never know that the incentive needed to push Izaya over the edge was Shizuo himself.

And it's so funny—it's so goddamn funny that all Kadota can do is laugh, his voice lost in the roaring flames.

_[Travelling swallowing Dramamine. Look at your face like you're killed in a dream. And you think you've figured out everything. I think I know my geography pretty damn well]_

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><p><em>Insane Izaya is the Izaya I thrive for. Review for love! Sorry for my absence, life is as stifling as a room full of flames. Hehe. <em>


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